Who's Your Top 3?
We’re taught to always think of others. We’re told this is the loving thing to do. This is part of our daily lives, not to mention, our calendar. Valentine's Day, which is just around the corner, is traditionally about celebrating our love for our significant other (and other loved ones), but our capacity to love others is defined by our relationship with ourselves. (Read that again!) So, I'm writing today to ask you to be your own Valentine. If that feels too cringe, then I would suggest a reframe. Stat.
Are you still with me, reader? I know: it's a little awkward. If the commercialism of Valentine's Day is tripping you, just stay with me. What I’m really trying to get at is that no one else’s needs or desires are more important than your own needs or desires. To me, that's the foundation of self-love. That doesn't mean that you might not choose to prioritize others' needs sometimes, But, when you love yourself and value and respect that you have needs, you know that you’re making a choice!
None of this is easy or guaranteed to feel good. It's hard. It’s something I have to come back to with myself all the time. Different things work for different people when tackling how to build up that rapport and turn it into deep self-love. My partner regularly writes herself notes that end with “I love you.” Personally, I need visual reminders. I think this is part of why I paint.
I worked this idea into an abstract I did this summer. My painting Love Me/Love Myself is a subtle reminder. Self-love is a subtle practice, afterall. Plus, I like it because I have it up in my home and it doesn't feel like a big statement. It's just for me to notice and to offer myself a gentle reminder. I made a companion piece, Love You. One of the beautiful things about loving ourselves fully is the way our loving relationships deepen. I’m not advocating selfishness; however, some of us may have received inaccurate or even harmful messaging about selfLESSness and selfishness in a way that made us believe we always have to deny our needs if it means serving others (speaking from experience here…if you’d like me to write more about this, shoot me an email and I’ll get started).
Have I convinced you to love yourself? Probably not yet…. I’ll be writing about love and self-love for the next few weeks, stay tuned! And check out the prints of my above (and below) paintings. There are two sizes for the prints: 6” x 4” (matting included), as well as 10” x 8”. Matting and framing options are also available on the larger size.
My ask of you, reader? Well, I’ve got 2! If you haven't already, click on one of the links above and check out my artwork. Maybe it’s your thing, maybe not. Study it with the ideas of this newsletter in mind and see what comes up for you. If you’re really daring, send me a message and share it with me. I always love hearing from you. And my second and more important ask: even if you think this newsletter is total garbage, just try telling yourself you love yourself once. Just once between now and next Tuesday. Say it in your mind. Say it in whisper. Write it on a post-it or your journal. It’s a starting point.