Slow Drivers Infuriate Me

I’ve been thinking, and writing, a lot about perfectionism lately. It’s something I’ve grown in over the last few years, so it feels good to reflect on that. And, because I’ve grown in this area, it feels like I could help other people- maybe even you- do the same. This week, I’m going to write about something that I actually really super don't want to talk about. Because, you know, vulnerability can be so damn hard, but it’s vitally important for us leading authentic lives.

So anyway, since you’re here, what I really need to discuss is judgment. I have a really hard time admitting that sometimes I’m judgmental of others. And, I have an even harder time admitting that in those moments of judging others, I have a unique opportunity to learn where I am judging myself. This goes hand in hand with my issue with getting angry.

Few things aggravate me more than slow drivers. Drivers going the speed limit in the left lane on the highway. Drivers driving the same speed as the car next to them. Drivers leaving too much following distance when traffic is congested, letting everyone cut in front of them. I can get so mad about this. And, I know the beliefs (read judgments) that are at play. These people don't respect my time. These people are unaware of how their behavior affects others. These people are clueless (lack awareness). These people have time to waste. These people are slow. These people are bad at basic life skills. These people are dumb. And, on and on it goes.

Maybe you’re a very patient, prudent driver, reader. But, do you ever catch yourself judging others? Are you ever able to hear the thoughts you’re having in that time of judgment? And if you can, do you realize that they're coming directly from your system of beliefs about the world…and yourself?

I'm realizing that my impatience with slow drivers has a lot to do with how little patience I have for myself. That maybe when I stop resenting everyone else for being slow and in my way, I am going to have to admit that I spend a lot of energy hiding from the fact that, in my deepest core, I believe that I’m slow. Slow to realize what I want. Slow to come out. Slow to start making art. Slow at marketing myself. Slow at getting clients. Slow at getting things done.

I’ve been driving myself to work more, working longer, and being hyper vigilant about how I prioritize my time. My planner looks like a beautiful, Pinterestable journal. But I rarely get done enough to feel any satisfaction. (I’m also actively working on acknowledging how well I’m doing throughout my day instead of constantly criticizing myself, but that’s for another newsletter!) I don’t know if you can relate to any of this, but I’d love to hear from you!

I hate it, but I’m waking up to the idea that when I’m judging others, I have the chance to see where I’m not in a healthy relationship with myself.

Let me know if any of this clicks with you. This could be your chance to really learn something about who you are and what you believe. And ultimately, feel better in your self. Drop a comment or connect with me. And, if you drive the speed limit and leave following distance, I have something to learn from you.